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It's V-dayFollow

#1 Dec 16 2014 at 7:19 AM Rating: Good
Prodigal Son
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I am cutting off my supply of live ammo and switching to shooting blanks. Turning off the hot water and running cold. Being fixed like a common household pet.
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publiusvarus wrote:
we all know liberals are well adjusted american citizens who only want what's best for society. While conservatives are evil money grubbing scum who only want to sh*t on the little man and rob the world of its resources.
#2 Dec 16 2014 at 7:20 AM Rating: Good
Worst. Title. Ever!
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When they do it to household pets don't they just cut them off rather than severing the line?
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Can't sleep, clown will eat me.
#3 Dec 16 2014 at 7:29 AM Rating: Excellent
Will swallow your soul
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It's a thing.

No less of a thing after the fact, or so I understand it.
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#4 Dec 16 2014 at 7:56 AM Rating: Good
Skelly Poker Since 2008
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Google only tells me it's Wassily Kandinsky's 148th birthday today (nice doodle). Penny Arcade isn't loading for me.

Does V-day have something to do with Sony's email hack or the +100 schoolboys gunned down in Pakistan?

Smiley: confused
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Alma wrote:
I lost my post
#5 Dec 16 2014 at 8:00 AM Rating: Good
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Elinda wrote:
Smiley: confused
Â
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George Carlin wrote:
I think it’s the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately.
#6 Dec 16 2014 at 8:02 AM Rating: Good
Skelly Poker Since 2008
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Smiley: lol

No more Debalic spawn?!
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Alma wrote:
I lost my post
#7 Dec 16 2014 at 8:12 AM Rating: Excellent
Liberal Conspiracy
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Welcome to the ranks. Smiley: thumbsup
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Belkira wrote:
Wow. Regular ol' Joph fan club in here.
#8 Dec 16 2014 at 8:13 AM Rating: Decent
Prodigal Son
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There's enough already. We're just trying to save the world from the chance of spawning a girl.
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publiusvarus wrote:
we all know liberals are well adjusted american citizens who only want what's best for society. While conservatives are evil money grubbing scum who only want to sh*t on the little man and rob the world of its resources.
#9 Dec 16 2014 at 8:15 AM Rating: Decent
Prodigal Son
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TirithRR wrote:
When they do it to household pets don't they just cut them off rather than severing the line?

My wife wants some new ornaments for the Christmas tree.
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publiusvarus wrote:
we all know liberals are well adjusted american citizens who only want what's best for society. While conservatives are evil money grubbing scum who only want to sh*t on the little man and rob the world of its resources.
#10 Dec 16 2014 at 11:13 AM Rating: Good
Skelly Poker Since 2008
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For what it's worth, my husband's vasectomy didn't impinge on his virility one little bit.

Also, not having to deal with birth control enhances the spontaneity.
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Alma wrote:
I lost my post
#11 Dec 16 2014 at 2:14 PM Rating: Decent
Prodigal Son
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So when I sat in the waiting room and check Facebook on my phone, the first thing I see is this article.

Really?! This is when I see it? Smiley: motz
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publiusvarus wrote:
we all know liberals are well adjusted american citizens who only want what's best for society. While conservatives are evil money grubbing scum who only want to sh*t on the little man and rob the world of its resources.
#12 Dec 16 2014 at 2:15 PM Rating: Good
Prodigal Son
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So the procedure went well, I'm a bit sore (as if the the boy had just nailed me good) and groggy.

I did have to shave my coin purse last night, which wasn't so bad, though the aftershave lotion wasn't such a hot idea.
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publiusvarus wrote:
we all know liberals are well adjusted american citizens who only want what's best for society. While conservatives are evil money grubbing scum who only want to sh*t on the little man and rob the world of its resources.
#13 Dec 16 2014 at 2:20 PM Rating: Good
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Debalic wrote:
So when I sat in the waiting room and check Facebook on my phone, the first thing I see is this article.

Really?! This is when I see it? Smiley: motz

Forget the male birth control pill, what you really wanted was electro-balls.
#14 Dec 16 2014 at 2:40 PM Rating: Good
Skelly Poker Since 2008
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The One and Only Poldaran wrote:
I don't understand how this is better than a vasectomy....
Quote:
RISUG is similar to vasectomy in that a local anesthetic is administered, an incision is made in the *******, and the vas deferens is tugged out with a small pair of forceps. Rather than being cut and cauterized, as it is in a vasectomy, the vas deferens is injected with the polymer gel and pushed back into the *******.[3] In a matter of minutes, the injection coats the walls of the vas with a clear gel made of 60 mg of the copolymer styrene/maleic anhydride (SMA) with 120 µl of the solvent dimethyl sulfoxide
Sounds like you're having your man parts taxidermied.

Not surprisingly,
wiki wrote:
Phase III clinical trials are underway in India, slowed by insufficient volunteers.


Anyways, no more devilish ginger-babies. (I think you should have held out for an gurl)

Edited, Dec 16th 2014 9:41pm by Elinda
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Alma wrote:
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#15 Dec 16 2014 at 2:44 PM Rating: Decent
Prodigal Son
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Yeah, the cutting open and tugging out is the rough part.
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publiusvarus wrote:
we all know liberals are well adjusted american citizens who only want what's best for society. While conservatives are evil money grubbing scum who only want to sh*t on the little man and rob the world of its resources.
#16 Dec 16 2014 at 2:56 PM Rating: Excellent
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I was completely under for mine. Which I guess isn't the normal way of doing things but I guess I'm just special. Can't say I mourn not being half-awake for some dude cutting open my sack and messing with the wires.
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Belkira wrote:
Wow. Regular ol' Joph fan club in here.
#17 Dec 16 2014 at 5:35 PM Rating: Decent
Prodigal Son
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Oh, I was knocked out. About 20 minutes. Never been under before.
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publiusvarus wrote:
we all know liberals are well adjusted american citizens who only want what's best for society. While conservatives are evil money grubbing scum who only want to sh*t on the little man and rob the world of its resources.
#18 Dec 16 2014 at 10:40 PM Rating: Good
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Elinda wrote:
The One and Only Poldaran wrote:
I don't understand how this is better than a vasectomy....
"I've had the ol' snip-snip" is not as badass a phrase as "My ********* now hold the power of Zeus!"?
#19 Dec 17 2014 at 8:15 AM Rating: Good
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Debalic wrote:
Never been under before.
The disorientation afterwards is the best part.
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George Carlin wrote:
I think it’s the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately.
#20 Dec 17 2014 at 11:43 AM Rating: Decent
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Wife wants me to get it done. My first instinct is "but...they're mine..." then I cry a little. Reviews?
#21 Dec 17 2014 at 11:58 AM Rating: Excellent
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It's no big. Mine stayed bruised looking for a couple weeks which I understand is longer than usual but the pain was gone within a few days and after that it was more tenderness and sitting down a little more slowly than anything else. Even at its worse, it wasn't especially painful. Aside from that, everything's the same and you'd never notice the difference.

After that, you beat off a few times for the doctor to test your stuff and you're done. Protip: If you create your sample at the hospital, you wind up doing so in a rather bleak bathroom (versus the stereotypical 'sperm donor clinic' porn room). Mine had a Thomas the Tank Engine sticker on the wall which I thought was a nice touch. I suppose in these days of smart phones, it's not a big deal to bring your own assistance.

Edited, Dec 17th 2014 11:58am by Jophiel
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Belkira wrote:
Wow. Regular ol' Joph fan club in here.
#22 Dec 17 2014 at 12:23 PM Rating: Excellent
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Jophiel wrote:
Mine had a Thomas the Tank Engine sticker on the wall which I thought was a nice touch. I suppose in these days of smart phones, it's not a big deal to bring your own assistance.
I don't know, that is one alluring locomotive ...
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George Carlin wrote:
I think it’s the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately.
#23 Dec 17 2014 at 9:10 PM Rating: Good
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I find the idea oddly terrifying. I say oddly, because I'm sure it's normal to find it skwicky, but I'm not normally bothered by this sort of thing. I've had lots of surgeries, knees, teeth, I've had bad burns, skin grafts, broken my sternum, yadda.

I guess I have a primal attachment to my junk or measure my manliness somehow relative to my potency. Silly, but the idea still really bothers me.
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Disclaimer:

To make a long story short, I don't take any responsibility for anything I post here. It's not news, it's not truth, it's not serious. It's parody. It's satire. It's bitter. It's angsty. Your mother's a *****. You like to jack off dogs. That's right, you heard me. You like to grab that dog by the bone and rub it like a ski pole. Your dad? Gay. Your priest? Straight. **** off and let me post. It's not true, it's all in good fun. Now go away.

#24 Dec 17 2014 at 10:26 PM Rating: Decent
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Yeah, I'm kind of where Smash is right now. Not so sure I'm up to it for some completely irrational reason.
#25 Dec 17 2014 at 11:00 PM Rating: Excellent
GBATE!! Never saw it coming
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Smasharoo wrote:
I've had lots of surgeries, knees, teeth, I've had bad burns, skin grafts, broken my sternum, yadda...and then I quit gambling in Vegas


Ba-DUM-tisssssss




Thank you; I'm here all week.
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One day I'm going to fly to Canada and open the curtains in your office.

#26 Dec 18 2014 at 7:22 AM Rating: Good
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I've had lots of surgeries, knees, teeth, I've had bad burns, skin grafts, broken my sternum, yadda...and then I quit gambling in Vegas

Hey-O!

What a great audience! Seriously though, I've had a lot of surgeries. I'm worried if I get a vasectomy, my surgeon will try to slide his Smasharoo Surgery Rewards card through my *** crack. You guys are great. Anyone here from Cleveland?
____________________________
Disclaimer:

To make a long story short, I don't take any responsibility for anything I post here. It's not news, it's not truth, it's not serious. It's parody. It's satire. It's bitter. It's angsty. Your mother's a *****. You like to jack off dogs. That's right, you heard me. You like to grab that dog by the bone and rub it like a ski pole. Your dad? Gay. Your priest? Straight. **** off and let me post. It's not true, it's all in good fun. Now go away.

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